KalamTakTerucap

What’s wrong with me?  Why can’t I be normal? How did I get here?

To be honest, I just don’t want to be a burden.  I must be so annoying to be around  and it’s getting harder to fake it and put on a happy face.  I’m not even really sure what day it is anymore  since I’ve been so tired lately.  Sometimes I wake up, realize I’m still here,  and then close my eyes and go back to sleep  because that’s a few extra hours I don’t have to be me  and it feels so nice.  When I can’t sleep anymore,  I like to just lay in bed and stare at the wall for a few hours while the negative thoughts creep up on me.

Lately, I realize that I'm cried a lot, Alone. especially in the middle of the night while struggling with insomnia and bad thoughts. sometime, I cried silently by watching sad movies or dramas to avoid people around knowing that I was crying as hard as I could not because of that movies, but because i want to cry as much as i could.